Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Stage of a Woman

I've got two friends who have begun going through menopause.  They are both going through some heavy duty re-evaluating of their lives.  Without going into the common symptoms that anyone can find information for on the internet, I'd like to cover what is not quite common knowledge.  Being who I am, and walking through the first stages of menopause myself, I have been looking at the spiritual aspect of this stage of a woman's life.

There is a very good reason it is called "the change."  It is an extremely powerful time in a woman's life, with feelings and thoughts that have been kept inside for way too long coming to the fore.  Most doctors will tell a woman that these feelings and thoughts are brought on by menopause itself, almost like saying they aren't really real.  While there are similarities between women in expression and behavior during menopause, we women know exactly what and why we are expressing and behaving the way we are.

And men...sorry, but you really just don't get it.  Most of the feelings that crop up in a woman during this time are actually stuff we've felt over the years, and had to put a cap on just to keep you in the room.  Being a woman, and talking to women, you men don't have a clue what we put ourselves through in our lives, in our marriages, in our relationships just to get along.  From the time we hit puberty we are walking pressure cookers, just like Mother Earth.  At some point, sorry fellas, we erupt.  The time for eruption is generally during menopause.  Whatever issues we've had over the years are going to make their way out.  It's a part of it, and every woman knows this when she hits menopause.  She knows, deep inside, it isn't just the hormones talking. 

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not male bashing.  I do love men, my gawd they are magnificent.  However, it behooves men to understand just how delicate a time this stage is in a woman's life, and how vulnerable she is.  Men are very much a part of it, because you mirror to us our femaleness.  If there is any time to finally express what we have desired to express as women all our lives, it is during this stage.  And women, be careful, because if you are in a marriage that hasn't quite brought fulfillment, the statistics for having an affair is very high.  You can open yourself to being easy prey.  I see it as the stage when we are the caterpillar just beginning to break free from the cocoon we have kept ourselves inside of, and on our way to becoming the butterfly we've always known to be inside us.  

We have a tendency to blame the man, or men in our lives for not being able to express ourselves the way we desired to as women.  Yes, we do live in a male dominant society, and we women know precisely the issues we face every day of our lives because of it.  Yet the truth is this, ladies.  It wasn't our men who didn't let us express...it is we who didn't let us express.  As hard as that is to swallow for many of us, it is the truth nevertheless.  We are the ones who believed we couldn't, and then believing it, didn't.

So before we go around the bend to destruction, it is wise to take a deep breath, take stock, re-evaluate, express all the pent up energy of emotions we have locked up inside us in a journal, whatever.  Or throw rocks, preferably at a mountain or something.  The very best thing we can give ourselves is our creative expression.  Think about it, it's all about creation.  Females embody the creative/destruction energy.  During menopause the temptation is to begin destroying without considering the creative aspect of our beings.  Now is the time for creative expression to be brought forth.  While our eggs are dying, renew ourselves in creativity in whatever form we choose.  Through that creative expression, the butterfly emerges.

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2 comments:

Mikki said...

Gah! Why are you always right? I bet you can just imagine my reaction to reading this, facepalming myself, and just sitting here shaking my head! I love you, my friend. And, Thank you.

C. Fassett said...

I love you too, Mikki :).