Saturday, March 5, 2011

Smorgasbord

Today has been fabulous.  I have so much inside me to express that I couldn't figure out what to focus on for this blog, so I decided to attempt to play with it, and see what comes out.  A little bit here, a little bit there...and then perhaps at the end we'll have ourselves a yummy plate.

The last couple of days I've felt sensuous.  That was one of the topics I wanted to write about today, but then I did a search for the word "sensuous" to see what images came up to add to this blog.  It was all women!  And that got me thinking...(dangerous, I know)...do men not feel sensuous?  Or...is it only men that feel sensuous when they look at pictures of beautiful women positioned in odd...positions.  (I worked with that sentence, I did, but couldn't find another way to put it, and honestly don't care about grammar atm, so it stands.)

When I thought of Smorgasbord as the title, I decided to see what image came up for that word.  Well...lots of food, of course, but also boobies.  Pics of well endowed women, with their pride well displayed.  There was even a pic of a woman holding a baby, and the baby looking with very big eyes at the her breasts.  I had to laugh at that one.  Then I came across this one to the left.  Yeah..it was so different I had to click on it to see what that was all about.  I have to say I still don't know, but it's caption read "Smorgasbord Angel," so I picked it for the blog today.  Hey, it's got wings!  And what do I know?  There may even be a Smorgasbord Angel!  ( I was just told the horn the angel is holding could be the "horn of plenty," so maybe that works!)

So where was I?  Right, sensuous...

I don't know what sensuous means to y'all, but for me it means feeling my life in a...how can I put this...delicious way.  And that's not necessarily sexual, so don't go all the way there, but not excluding it either.  When my senses are alive, I feel alive through my very pores, and every act, every color, every ...thing is magnified.  Kinda like being in love, when everything has a rosy hue.  For me, it's not looking at pictures of sexy men in odd poses.  (To hell with pictures, it's about touch baby!  Did I just say that?)  It's putting my hands in the earth, or baking cookies, or listening to crickets, or fine music, appreciating the sun on my skin.  It's me in the moment, with all my senses alive to everything.  It's what I think the trees must feel when they know rain is coming, and their leaves turn up in anticipation of catching it.  Or a child with delight in her eyes holding out an empty cup. 

Earlier today I got a phone call.  I mentioned in a blog awhile back that my intention is to go fishing.  Cast my line out to the Universe, and sit on the banks of the River with iced tea and a good book, and see what shows up.  I'll wait for what is mine.  Meaning, not worry, and enjoy and be as grateful as I can be with my lot, whatever that happens to look like in the moment.  Burroughs said it best with his poem, "Waiting," which I'll include at the end of this post.

The phone call was from a woman who works at the storage unit place where I used to store my stuffs.  I haven't seen, nor spoken to her since I cleared out my unit last summer.  She called to tell me she had a position open as assistant manager, part time, and asked if I'd be interested.  A) I've always really liked this woman and her husband who run the place, B) I need a job, so hello!, and C) it's only part time, and pay isn't much, but there is opportunity once I learn the ropes, to fill in for other people at other facilities in the valley.  It's something!  It's a place I hadn't even considered applying for, and it's just one mile from my house.  Sweet!  So I hightailed it over there, picked up the application, filled it out, now I'm waiting for the "big guy" to let me know if I've got the job.  Keep your fingers crossed for me :).

I love this sense of flowing with life, instead of against it like life is an enemy.

My mother and I had a conversation today regarding a subject I really didn't want to talk about, (see "Fluttering Wings"), and it was good.  I get the sense decisions are already made at times, and it's just a matter of getting in line with them...listening...and that's the sense I'm talking about with the flow of Life.  Like if we are still, and listen to the Life within us, and around us, we will see that it's all good...and that Life really is for us, instead of against us.  Trust is huge.  Trusting it's all good, even if it doesn't appear that way right now. 

Sometimes...it's good to get out of our own way.  The result is how I feel today...and it's oh so good.

WAITING
by: John Burroughs (1837-1921)
ERENE, I fold my hands and wait,
Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea;
I rave no more 'gainst time or fate,
For, lo! my own shall come to me.
 
I stay my haste, I make delays,
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid the eternal ways,
And what is mine shall know my face.
 
Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.
 
What matter if I stand alone?
I wait with joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it hath sown,
And garner up its fruit of tears.
 
The waters know their own and draw
The brook that springs in yonder height;
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.
 
The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,
Can keep my own away from me. 
 
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