Monday, April 25, 2011

The River Flows...

                                              ( artist: Suzanne Lebeda)

This morning, quite unexpectedly, I decided to make breakfast for my family as my gift on Easter Sunday.  It felt felt real good to be cooking not only for myself, but for others as well.  I couldn't go there for a few years.  After my ex-husband and I separated, the desire to cook had left me as well, along with some other things I loved to do.  In the past year I've noticed now and again I'll get an urge to bake some goodies, and have done so, and I am always grateful to have that part of me resurface, even if only briefly.  It lets me know it isn't dead within me, only laying dormant for a time and a season.

The River flows...

I believe in the Spirit of Renewal, in Resurrection.  There is evidence of It everywhere in Life.  The sun rises every morning.  Saplings spring from the roots or seeds left behind from old trees.  The cells of our bodies regenerate.  The waves of the sea continue their timeless dance with the shore, the tides rise and fall to the song of the moon.  Every Spring I am filled with wonder and delight when I just know some plant didn't survive the winter, and there it is, expressing itself in life again.  I don't know why it surprises me, but it does, and I find the same surprise in myself.  I am delighted the love of cooking rises within me again to find expression and new growth in my life.  I am so happy it survived the winter.            

The River flows...     

While in grief it may seem cruel, and we may find ourselves asking how life and the living can go on when all feels dead within us.  Yet I find the very fact of renewal is the hope I hang onto for dear life when my soul experiences winter.  Life goes on, and It is good and right that It does so.  The old adage, "This too shall pass" is true indeed...if we allow it.  I have learned it is we who stand in the way of our own resurrection.  

The River flows...
          ...and sometimes our tears fall into it, being a part of life itself.

Life continuously renews Itself and the abundance It has to give, in nature, within us.  Sometimes, while laying dormant in our winters, our gifts or talents and loves inside us may be reshaped and reformed to later be resurrected with an added depth of gratitude and joy, or send us along a different path.  Sometimes the River leads us to new friends, or resurrects old ones we thought had forgotten us.  Life continues, and the hope of it, the beauty of it, the resurrecting quality of it is truly a miraculous thing.

The River flows...and I am deeply, deeply grateful.

(video made by


Denise said...

Knowing that we are all different and special in our own way I cannot say the I totally understand your personal pain, but I can say that I have been in similar painful life experiences. As life challenged me, each time I learned that the only way to heal is to feel the pain, let it flow through me, allow myself to mourn, put no time limit on it, do not feel guilt or question your lack of emotions, it is a part of you that you should not deny. The only way to heal is through, not around. As one human being to another, as we are all a part of the whole, I wish you well on your journey.

C. Fassett said...

Thank you, Denise, and I agree. By not walking through it, allowing it, we block the way to renewal.

Yet there are times we get lost in the wilderness of pain, as we walk through it. Times when we forget our emotions are fluid, like water, and are only temporary, seasonal. There are also times we hang onto our hurts, nurse them, when we need to let them flow, to let them go.

It is good to remember there is, and always will be, hope in the renewing, restorative quality of life. That there is always available within us...Spring after Winter. This article is for those who need that hope.