Thursday, February 24, 2011


I hate goodbyes.  I actually don't believe in them.  Yet that doesn't change the fact they exist in life, nor that there are times we need to move on for reasons of our own.  For a very long time I refused to hear a goodbye from others.  I also feared a goodbye, born from abandonment issues, which had me behaving in awesomely stupid ways. 

I have said goodbye to many things in the last 5 years.  Too many.  I suppose there comes a time in our lives when a re-evaluation needs to be made.  That time doesn't generally come at our beckoning.  No, instead it comes like a wave crashing in on our party.  The entire ocean is behind the force of it, flooding all in its path, no table left unturned. 

I'm still not comfortable with them, and notice my goodbyes have a flair for the dramatic.  Especially if I'm saying goodbye to something important to me.  I tend to be kinda flairy anyway, so there you have it.  I don't like having to leave anything behind, yet I've learned there is something to be said for progress.  We must move forward, or we stagnate.  We can't bring everything with us in the move, especially if it's a person who doesn't agree, and desires for things to stay as they are.  Nothing wrong with that.  And I'm not leaving the person, although it may appear that way...I'm saying goodbye to a way of being I no longer desire.  I do see I am the one, after all, who desires progress.  Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.  Pisses me off, quite frankly, but that's only because I don't want to make the sacrifice. 

Look at the kiss in the photograph above.  He is saying goodbye to the war...but also saying hello to a new way.  I didn't see that before regarding goodbyes.  I only focused on the part that hurt.  Now I see we really can't have one without the other.  The way giving and receiving are one, there would be no giving without the receiver, and vice versa.  Now that I see it, my view is clear.  What I am doing is moving toward the hello. 

A new way.  And my path is straight. 


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