I WILL Go To My Room, Dammit!

What is it about bumps showing up in the road right before making a move, or a new change in life,  to slow ya down, or freak ya out while in the process of doing it?  My daughter and I both are coming up against them.  For me personally, several days ago I noticed a bit of radiator fluid leaking from my SUV, and I thought it had to do with a bad clamp on one of the hoses.  So yesterday, I took it in to be checked out by my mechanic, and also to have him look at why my air conditioning wasn't working.  I plan on taking my cat, Saki, with me, and got to thinking there is no way in hell I'm driving with a hot Saki cat, cooped up in a carrier in the front seat under an open window with hot air blowing her fur all around.  She's an indoor cat, always has been, and the thought of her extremely annoyed, hot, windblown look got me cracking up, then got me scared.  I feared she'd never, ever forgive me.

The mechanic checked the radiator leak first, and it wasn't the clamp on a hose...no it's a leak in the radiator itself, and he gave me two options.  I could replace the radiator for almost 400 bucks, or since it was a very small leak, I could fill it with Stop Leak, and hopefully that would seal it for awhile.  He even suggested coarse ground black pepper to help seal it.  I asked him if he was joking on that last one, and he put up his hand in the boy scout sign for "scout's honor."  Who knew?  I felt my heart drop to my gut, and just wanted to cry, because I don't have that kind of money to get a new radiator and make a move clear across country.  He told me to think about it while he looked at what was causing my air conditioner not to work.                

So I got quiet, and tried to settle my ass down, and then the mechanic and I got to talking about the state of the economy, poverty, religion...ya know, the usual things mechanics and their customers talk about.  ( I've actually known this man for many years :).  He finally found the problem, and it was a valve leak, a ten dollar part, that could be easily repaired.  The expensive part was the freon, so the repair ended up costing me more than I wanted to spend on my budget.  But bless my mechanic for being a good family friend, because even though he didn't say it, I knew he gave me a deal by the look in his eye when he told me the cost.  I tried to dig the real price out of him, but he wouldn't budge, so I thanked him profusely, then drove home to figure out what I wanted to do about the radiator problem.

By the time I get home I was feeling cranky, and walked into the house to a cranky daughter, and a cranky mother, which got me feeling even more cranky.  I don't have a room to shut them out, or to shut me in, so I headed outside to sit on the porch in the 107 degree weather.  Okay, it was cooler than that in the shade, but not by much.  I sat there for awhile stewing in the hot air, trying not to cry while I wondered what to do, feeling the squeeze of funds running low, when I got a call from my two friends who I'm moving in with if I can just get there.  The same two friends who have prepared a room for me, painted it yellow, ( after calling and asking me what color I'd like :), then took it upon themselves to paint the ceiling sky blue, with puffy white clouds, to give me a sense of spaciousness and light after living in a dark, drab house.  They even talked about getting glow in the dark stars to tack on the ceiling for nighttime :D.  They called at one point and asked if Saki likes to play in water, in which I told them she does, so they set up a mini fountain for her entertainment, along with a desk for my computer, and a fish tank with a lonely little fish who lost his mate recently, which I'm sure will keep Saki entertained as well! 

I told them the bad news and they brushed it off, and told me to do the stop leak stuff, because the father of one of the guys loves Fords, and loves fixing them, so I can get it fixed by him when I got there.  I brought up the what if scenario of breaking down while on my way there, and they were like, "Meh, we'll get the father and come get you."  Then they said, "Cindy, this is gonna happen, don't worry."  Finally, my ass was settled, and we all three talked for another hour, while they sat on the porch watching a storm, and I sat on a porch in the heat, all of us dreaming and talking about our plans.

After I hung up the phone, I felt a new resolve rise up in me... by gawd I WILL go to my room!  There's nothin' gonna stop me from steppin' into and claiming it, and then I realized what that sounded like and bust out laughing.  But its so gonna happen.  This morning, I checked gas prices, and every day they keep dipping lower, making my trip cheaper, so it all works.

My daughter brought her horse, Chic, to the house several days ago, and has been keeping her in the back yard, ( long story ), so I decided to hang out with the mare this morning while watching the sunrise.  I scratched her all over, and she followed me around wherever I moved, blocking Acacia, a sweet old golden retriever, from getting a scratch of her own.  It turned to play, and after I went to fill up their water, Chic came over and laid her head on my shoulder, drew me in with her nose, and I swear, gave me a hug.  I hugged her back, and something in me knew....

...its all gonna be okay :).  

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