Feeling Life

I drove a Jeep for the first time in my life the other night.  It's something I'd always wanted to do, just to see what it felt like, the experience of it.  Weird how we have these little dreams we forget about, tucked away in the corner of our pockets.  And there the opportunity presented itself...I grabbed it with enthusiasm. 

It was okay. 

I think the dream of it was more fun than the actual event.  But then, I've found life, art, relationship, are like that too.  The vision we hold in our mind is always going to be more perfect than what actually happens.  Life, art, relationships, are messy...and I kinda like it that way.  Makes things more interesting, more creative, keeps us on our toes.  Throws in that "other" element we didn't anticipate, or predict, in our seemingly perfect little picture.

Right after I drove the Jeep to its destination, I was asked to drive my son-in-law's truck home.  It's a '77 pos Ford.  I never really liked Ford trucks, but omg, it was a standard!  I haven't driven a standard since I lost my Toyota 4x4 truck in an accident years ago.  That was a very sad day, and I cried when I cleaned it out before it was sent to the junk yard.  I loved my Toyota.  And I LOVE driving a stick. 

There's something that thrills me about driving a standard truck.  As I drove it home, it brought back memories of what I felt when I was a Truck Driver in the Army, when I'd walk toward my big truck parked in the motor pool.  Something wild and free would rise up in me, and when I'd climb up into my truck, and turn the key...wow, the rush...just from the sound of that engine.  And me sitting in that seat, behind the wheel, shifting it into gear...driving it.  Mm..mm..mm...what a thrill.

I mentioned a few posts back that I had a little dream about owning a Volkswagen, with daisy rims.  As I drove the Ford home I thought maybe I don't want that after all.  Perhaps a truck is the thing.  How would daisy rims look on a full size truck?  There I am, shifting into gear, laughing out loud at the image of that in my mind.

So a small dream was fulfilled, that wasn't all I thought it would be, and in the next breath, I got to experience, again, something I already love.  I sent out a prayer of gratitude for all that I have right now, and asked that I always be open to receive, and be able to notice, these little surprises the Universe so freely gives me.

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